Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Boobs speak an international language.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
