I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
