Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
