i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
my liver is dry heaving
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
