your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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