were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
