I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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