Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
