At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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