oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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