So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
