we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
