She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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