I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
