does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
