oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
