The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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