There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I intend to get homeless drunk
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
