Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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