clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
