everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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