Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
