Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
