the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We were destined to go to rehab together
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
