he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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