I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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