if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
