I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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