You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
