Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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