I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
