Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
