my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
