I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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