Non-Jews are for practice
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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