i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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