Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
