Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
