I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The beer is more important than you right now.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
