My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Bring me that man meat
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
