peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
