Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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