I want to make a zoo with you.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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