oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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