actually, I'm a sock model
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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