you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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