think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
