You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
