It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
