3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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