The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
