I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
