mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
