had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
